Cetcipfly is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, uncaring faun.

Cetcipfly created dark matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Cetcipfly, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cetcipfly, it will turn you into a hamster.

Cetcipfly's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Cetcipfly's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Cetcipfly on top of all buildings.

2. Never mention squirrels.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Birds are not to be trusted.

5. You must never eat garlic.