Fabparkvog is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, duplicitous porpoise.

Fabparkvog created the Tadpole Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fabparkvog, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fabparkvog, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Fabparkvog's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Fabparkvog's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Fabparkvog loves gulls, so they must be honoured.

3. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.

4. Never eat strawberries.

5. Run away if eight birds approach from the north.