Febmistag is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, astonishing lobster.

Febmistag created Africa two years ago.

If you believe in Febmistag, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Febmistag, it will boil you in a big pot.

Febmistag's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Febmistag's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Febmistag loves ducks, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.