Gofpinsog is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, ill-tempered mongoose.

Gofpinsog created Asia five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gofpinsog, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gofpinsog, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Gofpinsog's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Gofpinsog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Hide if three foxes approach from the north.

3. Never jump in holy places.

4. You must love Gofpinsog.

5. Hide from orange cats for they are unholy.