Yakhashad is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, resourceful slug.

Yakhashad created snails six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yakhashad, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Yakhashad, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Yakhashad's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Yakhashad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ducks.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yakhashad.

5. Always treat cats with great respect.