Tapgovtag is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, ruthless hyena.

Tapgovtag created the Virgo Supercluster five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tapgovtag, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tapgovtag, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Tapgovtag's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Tapgovtag's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never paint your arms brown.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Do not eat wheat.

5. Tapgovtag must be the most important thing in your life.