Spagyimyim is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, unsympathetic jellyfish.

Spagyimyim created a Higgs boson eight million years ago.

If you believe in Spagyimyim, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Spagyimyim, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Spagyimyim's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Spagyimyim's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat pineapples.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate cats.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

5. Spagyimyim loves birds, so they must be respected.