Jamstafarntit is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, charitable pig.

Jamstafarntit created the Whirlpool Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jamstafarntit, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jamstafarntit, she will not care at all.

Jamstafarntit's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Jamstafarntit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

2. Never mention squirrels.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Never talk about birds.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.