Latdotquam is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, unjust wolf.

Latdotquam created the planet Earth five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Latdotquam, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Latdotquam, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Latdotquam's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Latdotquam's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no horses in a building before entering it.

2. Hide if eight snails approach from the west.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not chop down trees.