Gonnurlarttetti is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, self-confident yak.

Gonnurlarttetti created bats seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonnurlarttetti, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gonnurlarttetti, he will turn you into a slug.

Gonnurlarttetti's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Gonnurlarttetti's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair green.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Always help rats.

5. Do not wear indigo clothing.