Siddagkom is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, loving aardvark.

Siddagkom created a down quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Siddagkom, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Siddagkom, he will turn you into a duck.

Siddagkom's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Siddagkom's Holy Commandments

1. Siddagkom loves badgers, so they must be respected.

2. Run away if seven dogs approach from the west.

3. Feed all hungry pigs.

4. Put Siddagkom first in all things.

5. You must pray to Siddagkom four times a day.