Beplogrutt is a god.

She takes the form of a small, unthinking meerkat.

Beplogrutt created an up quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Beplogrutt, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Beplogrutt, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Beplogrutt's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Beplogrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not jump in public.