Ranjenzim is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, duplicitous guinea pig.

Ranjenzim created life two billion years ago.

If you believe in Ranjenzim, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ranjenzim, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Ranjenzim's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Ranjenzim's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed cherries to badgers while wearing gray hats.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always help manatees.

5. Never look at comets.