Citpakfub is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, stupid seal.

Citpakfub created humanity three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Citpakfub, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Citpakfub, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Citpakfub's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Citpakfub's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Put Citpakfub first in all things.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.