Wodlimyarlfengeppang is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, fussy wyrm.

Wodlimyarlfengeppang created gold two billion years ago.

If you believe in Wodlimyarlfengeppang, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Wodlimyarlfengeppang, he will remove you from existence.

Wodlimyarlfengeppang's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Wodlimyarlfengeppang's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Wodlimyarlfengeppang.

2. Always treat porpoises with great respect.

3. Retreat if seven ducks approach from the west.

4. Otters are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never eat bark.