Yartarn is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, almighty dugong.

Yartarn created energy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yartarn, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Yartarn, it will not care at all.

Yartarn's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Yartarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head fawn.

2. Put Yartarn first in all things.

3. Retreat if seven manatees approach from the west.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. You must pray to Yartarn five times a day.