Queegnurtflig is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, unthoughtful lobster.

Queegnurtflig created tapeworms three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Queegnurtflig, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Queegnurtflig, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Queegnurtflig's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Queegnurtflig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Queegnurtflig.