Hot is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, bad-tempered goat.

Hot created the universe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hot, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hot, she will turn you into a plant.

Hot's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Hot's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

4. Never eat corn.

5. Do not hurt eagles.