Tifarnwee is a god.

He takes the form of a small, unselfish coyote.

Tifarnwee created humankind six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tifarnwee, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tifarnwee, he will come to you in dreams.

Tifarnwee's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Tifarnwee's Holy Commandments

1. Do not skip in public.

2. Run away from mauve great tits, for they are unholy.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tifarnwee.

5. Always help otters.