Ortlattab is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, narcissistic wyvern.

Ortlattab created a Higgs boson four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortlattab, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Ortlattab, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Ortlattab's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Ortlattab's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Feed all hungry grasshopers.

3. Never think about planets.

4. Always help gulls.

5. Never feed lemons to goats while wearing green tights.