Dotgiljarn is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, unthoughtful goose.

Dotgiljarn created Europe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dotgiljarn, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Dotgiljarn, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Dotgiljarn's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Dotgiljarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Retreat if five porpoises approach from the north.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.