Begmapneg is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, prudent sheep.

Begmapneg created energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Begmapneg, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Begmapneg, it will turn you into a mouse.

Begmapneg's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Begmapneg's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about planets.

2. Never wear hats.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never play with disobedient children.