Bingidzedbonkfarnvabstip is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, caring spider.

Bingidzedbonkfarnvabstip created the Small Magellanic Cloud eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bingidzedbonkfarnvabstip, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bingidzedbonkfarnvabstip, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bingidzedbonkfarnvabstip's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Bingidzedbonkfarnvabstip's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large gold sculpture of Bingidzedbonkfarnvabstip on top of all buildings.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never jump in holy places.