Jiplipced is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, omniscient armadillo.

Jiplipced created the Large Magellanic Cloud twelve years ago.

If you believe in Jiplipced, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Jiplipced, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Jiplipced's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Jiplipced's Holy Commandments

1. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always make sure there are no rats in a room before entering it.

3. Jiplipced loves geese, so they must be respected.

4. Erect nine tin sculptures of Jiplipced on top of important buildings.

5. Do not wear gray clothing.