Bitbenlin Quatkanbeg Yarpdumsagpop is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, thoughtless dingo.

Bitbenlin Quatkanbeg Yarpdumsagpop created the cosmos eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitbenlin Quatkanbeg Yarpdumsagpop, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bitbenlin Quatkanbeg Yarpdumsagpop, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Bitbenlin Quatkanbeg Yarpdumsagpop's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Bitbenlin Quatkanbeg Yarpdumsagpop's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured squirrels.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Feed all hungry grasshopers.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.