Hugxemditkin is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, selfish jaguar.

Hugxemditkin created light three million years ago.

If you believe in Hugxemditkin, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Hugxemditkin, it will curse you with boils.

Hugxemditkin's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Hugxemditkin's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always wear purple.

3. Hugxemditkin loves shrews, so they must be honoured.

4. Always look after injured swans.

5. Never write about moons.