Nellquimfarn is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, tiresome gnu.

Nellquimfarn created a Higgs boson five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nellquimfarn, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nellquimfarn, she will be very sad.

Nellquimfarn's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Nellquimfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about amino acids.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Nellquimfarn loves gulls, so they must be respected.

4. Always help capybaras in need.

5. Do not dye your hair gray.