Nurtyoglun is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, two-faced chinchilla.

Nurtyoglun created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtyoglun, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Nurtyoglun, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Nurtyoglun's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Nurtyoglun's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not hurt hamsters.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.