Fligarnwip is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, resourceful donkey.

Fligarnwip created life six million years ago.

If you believe in Fligarnwip, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fligarnwip, it will refuse to believe in you.

Fligarnwip's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Fligarnwip's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear purple rings.

2. Never mention turtles.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Run away if eight voles approach from the east.

5. Do not covet oxen.