Dosshabzig Bidtipnell is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, clever tortoise.

Dosshabzig Bidtipnell created the Virgo Supercluster four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dosshabzig Bidtipnell, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dosshabzig Bidtipnell, it will destroy your home solar system.

Dosshabzig Bidtipnell's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Dosshabzig Bidtipnell's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about nebulae.

2. Never bounce near swans.

3. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.