Lunkimlarp is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, selfish coyote.

Lunkimlarp created the planet Saturn six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lunkimlarp, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Lunkimlarp, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Lunkimlarp's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Lunkimlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Hide if seven dolphins approach from the north.

3. Never write about planets.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lunkimlarp.