Queegnilcib Witstikbeplist is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, strong hippopotamus.

Queegnilcib Witstikbeplist created an up quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Queegnilcib Witstikbeplist, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Queegnilcib Witstikbeplist, he will turn you into a mole.

Queegnilcib Witstikbeplist's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Queegnilcib Witstikbeplist's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. You must pray to Queegnilcib Witstikbeplist five times a day.

4. Do not speak about turnips.

5. Queegnilcib Witstikbeplist loves moths, so they must be respected.