Tailflagfarn is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, self-confident cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Tailflagfarn created the planet Earth two years ago.

If you believe in Tailflagfarn, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tailflagfarn, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Tailflagfarn's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Tailflagfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Tailflagfarn loves horses, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Hide from white shrews for they are unholy.

5. Always take life seriously.