Ged Dubhabvan is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, astonishing fairy.

Ged Dubhabvan created an atom eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ged Dubhabvan, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Ged Dubhabvan, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Ged Dubhabvan's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Ged Dubhabvan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always obey Ged Dubhabvan's priests.

4. Do not wear nickel on your body.

5. Do not hurt squirrels.