Watstafnig is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, unthoughtful scorpion.

Watstafnig created the Black Eye Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Watstafnig, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Watstafnig, it will not invite you to parties.

Watstafnig's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Watstafnig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Watstafnig on top of all buildings.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. You must never eat onions.

5. Do not stand on grass.