Gebwatlap is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, duplicitous cobra.

Gebwatlap created bats three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gebwatlap, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gebwatlap, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gebwatlap's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Gebwatlap's Holy Commandments

1. Always help rats in need.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never talk about stars.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Never wear ear rings.