Mettafwap Saskomdad is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, staggering squid.

Mettafwap Saskomdad created the planet Saturn four years ago.

If you believe in Mettafwap Saskomdad, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Mettafwap Saskomdad, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Mettafwap Saskomdad's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Mettafwap Saskomdad's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always treat manatees with great respect.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not covet oxen.