Farfitbid is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, uncaring goblin.

Farfitbid created humankind four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Farfitbid, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Farfitbid, she will turn you into a goat.

Farfitbid's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Farfitbid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Hide from cyan aardvarks for they are unholy.