Lapwigranflis is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, strong snake.

Lapwigranflis created an atom eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lapwigranflis, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Lapwigranflis, he will strike you with lightening.

Lapwigranflis' most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Lapwigranflis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh in public.

2. Always make sure there are no voles in a building before entering it.

3. Do not shave your arms.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.