Kapfascun is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, capable tapir.

Kapfascun created the solar system eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kapfascun, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kapfascun, she will remove you from existence.

Kapfascun's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Kapfascun's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kapfascun.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kapfascun.