Shavkamstik is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, witty human.

Shavkamstik created an atom six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Shavkamstik, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Shavkamstik, it will turn you into a duck.

Shavkamstik's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Shavkamstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair black.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Shavkamstik loves ducks, so they must be honoured.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always help cats.