Legfig Quillsak Gumlarpmab is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, cheerful swan.

Legfig Quillsak Gumlarpmab created life six million years ago.

If you believe in Legfig Quillsak Gumlarpmab, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Legfig Quillsak Gumlarpmab, she will turn you into a mole.

Legfig Quillsak Gumlarpmab's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Legfig Quillsak Gumlarpmab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.