Vegnarthen is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, slow snail.

Vegnarthen created the planet Mars six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vegnarthen, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vegnarthen, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Vegnarthen's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Vegnarthen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick otters.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.

3. Foxes are not to be trusted.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.