Gedvenkon is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, witless swan.

Gedvenkon created humankind nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gedvenkon, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gedvenkon, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Gedvenkon's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Gedvenkon's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into turquoise rooms.

2. Never mention porpoises.

3. Never think ill of sick dogs.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Hide from mauve sheep for they are unholy.