Hitcebtaf is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, merciful pigeon.

Hitcebtaf created the Sunflower Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hitcebtaf, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Hitcebtaf, he will turn you into a snail.

Hitcebtaf's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Hitcebtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. You must never eat parsnips.

3. Never think ill of sick geese.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate seals.