Tenganhin Hanlarptim is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unsympathetic alligator.

Tenganhin Hanlarptim created the cosmos eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tenganhin Hanlarptim, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tenganhin Hanlarptim, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Tenganhin Hanlarptim's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Tenganhin Hanlarptim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about garlic.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not shave your back.

4. Never wear mauve shoes.

5. Never go into brown rooms.