Davomtnartspag is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, all-knowing aardvark.

Davomtnartspag created energy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Davomtnartspag, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Davomtnartspag, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Davomtnartspag's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Davomtnartspag's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Davomtnartspag.

3. Never talk about nebulae.

4. Retreat if six squirrels approach from the east.

5. Do not dye your hair green.