Kimflanpad is a god.

It takes the form of a large, awe-inspiring shark.

Kimflanpad created a quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Kimflanpad, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kimflanpad, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Kimflanpad's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Kimflanpad's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Kimflanpad's priests.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never talk about pigs.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate seals.