Cutjanbonkmon is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, deceitful toad.

Cutjanbonkmon created the solar system four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cutjanbonkmon, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cutjanbonkmon, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Cutjanbonkmon's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Cutjanbonkmon's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear blue corsets.

2. Run away if three geese approach from the north.

3. Erect four titanium sculptures of Cutjanbonkmon on top of important buildings.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never go into black rooms.