Zedvondub is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, temperamental skunk.

Zedvondub created the planet Earth five million years ago.

If you believe in Zedvondub, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zedvondub, she will turn you into a snail.

Zedvondub's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Zedvondub's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Run away if five porpoises approach from the south.

3. Always help sick geese.

4. Always make sure there are no turtles in a room before entering it.

5. Never feed coconuts to otters while wearing yellow shorts.